Unplug
This past Thursday the
community of Breakthrough Conference callers got together and we talked openly
about the topic "How to Stop Pleasing Others and Failing Yourself".
Basically the conference call was about being a people pleaser and being
aware of why you are a person that caters to others needs while forgetting your
own.
Someone on the call asked
a very important question, which was how does someone break the cycle of being
a people pleaser? I explained that you
must know where the power comes from, the place which this energy got its
electricity.
I am a recovering people
pleaser. This has been a new revelation
in my life because I thought I was just a peacemaker. What I realized is that conflict made me
uncomfortable and made me a little anxious.
I wanted peace by any means necessary even if that meant putting another
persons needs before mine. This meant
basically that I put myself on the back burner.
This energy received its
power from growing up in a single parent home with a mother that was stressed often
and dealt with a lot so she could offer my sister and I a childhood which fostered
within our mind, spirit, and physical being a plethora of opportunities. Also, I had an older sister that was always
very emotional and seemed to be discontent often as a child. So, I took on the role as the child that will
not give anyone any problems nor issues.
I became the peace maker despite anything I may have been feeling.
That carried over into
adulthood but it first received its power as a child. Now that I know where it comes from and why
its there, I can look at it and say, “Okay, that is not me anymore.” I can
observe it separately from the person I am today. I can say that it no longer serves a purpose
in my life.
When you have found the
power, you can then recognize how to unplug yourself from it. You then understand how this thing attached
to you and why it served a purpose at that moment in your life. You also
understand something very important, that this thing is not in the seams of
your being but its actually something that can be ripped away.
This goes with many
things. Figure out what gave that
unwanted thing in your life power. What
made that thing ok to stick around in our lives and in our being. These things are usually defense mechanisms
that allow us to feel safe. So we carry
them around with us and after we pile on these shields of protection then we
have built an invisible wall which no one can break through.
Figure out that thing
that you know is not benefiting you;be aware of it, find what gave it power,
and then unplug it.
*Link to the last Breakthrough Conference Call*
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