MY OPEN LETTER TO JANAY RICE

““THIS IS OUR LIFE!” she wrote. “What don’t you all get. If your intentions were to hurt us, embarrass us, make us feel alone, take all happiness away, you’ve succeeded on so many levels. Just know we will continue to grow & show the world what real love is!”

My open letter to Janay Rice.

Dear Mrs. Rice:

I do not know you.  You have no idea who I am.  I do not know anything about your story, the story of your life.  I do not know your childhood memories, or what your hopes and dreams were as a young girl.  I have no idea what makes you laugh or what makes you fear the most? So why should I even write this letter?

Well, from a person that used to live and operate from a place of pain.  I just wanted to tell you that…that life can be a painful thing.  I know that sounds weird looking at the situation you just experienced and are experiencing at the moment.  I mean who am I to tell you?

 But, the thing about pain is that you can become used to it, so that it actually becomes your barometer for comfort, for how you live your life.  Its like you begin to think in a very subconscious way that chaos is just how life is meant to be lived and that you have to get through the very painful times to experience small amounts of happiness.  In fact the painful has to happen for happiness to be happening in your life. 

Then you tell yourself  that this is what you deserve.  It is a proven emotional  pattern of any persons human existence that what they accept in their lives is what they truly believe they deserve.  If you did not think you deserved it then you would not remain in it.  Even if you are thinking (which I don’t know if you are but just in case you do) that I can change him, you are telling the universe I deserve to put my peace, joy, and whole self on the back burner so someone else has the chance to knock me down; physically, emotionally, and spiritually.  This is what I deserve.

I don’t wonder about your husband, I don’t care about the NFL at this moment.  My thoughts are for you.  My heart pulls towards you.  Again I don’t know you…but what I know for sure is the idea of yourself was broken before you and Mr. Rice laid eyes on each other.  The pain that you have experienced through your life has now defined how you operate within life.  It has convinced you that it is ok to operate from a place of brokenness without a chance to heal.

Each person, especially women, have to fight each day to connect with their whole and true selves.  Women are taught to be strong, not vulnerable, and do not allow the world to see you weak.  In that mode of behavior we must shut out the pain and lie to ourselves on a daily basis and pretend everything is ok.

Well, Ms. Rice it is not ok.  Your last line stated “we will continue to grow and show the world what real love is.”  Again you represent a place trying to be strong, show a fierce face, while you are breaking inside.  Yes , both of you can grow but not together for your husband has already confirmed in you what yu have felt for a long time that you are not worthy to be loved.  Real love…well real love will never happen for you until it happens within you first.

God bless you Mrs. Rice and I hope that this chaos that is on public display will finally give you the courage to release and heal the chaos, hurt, and pain that exist within you.  

Meagan.